Friday, September 12, 2008

Golly jeepers,

I've noticed that being slightly depressed for a majority of the time, on top of attending a new school in which I have no friends, has reverted me back to the super nerd I once was. My self confidence is usually like through the roof when I'm with my friends, or anywhere else for that matter, but lately I've been so depressed that I have the lowest self esteem ever at school. I feel like the biggest loser at school, and when I speak to people I feel like I'm trying to get their attention, or like I'm some sort of retard incapable of being the person I usually am, it's not that I'm trying to impress people, but I think it's mainly that in this point in the game, it's hard to like make friends again, and I can tell it's going to take awhile. I'm usually the person who is closed mouthed until spoken to, which means I'm used to being spoken to first, which means I usually attract some attention. But here it seems like everyone hates me, and on top of that they all seem super fake.

So for now, I'll continue to eat lunch alone, and read my books, and draw occasionally until I grow some balls and awkwardly work my way into some friendships.

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